Considering a boob job after boyfriend admitted he finds my boobs gross

I’ve always hated my boobs, they naturally grew in saggy with huge puffy areolas and they aren’t round. I have tuberous breasts, although they’re a lot bigger than what typical tuberous breasts look like and one of my boobs is more normal looking.

I’ve been dating a guy for almost 6 months and while he’s stated that he loves who I am as a person, he’s not attracted to my body (I’m too thin for his liking) and he finds my boobs gross (yes he really used that word) and hard to look at. I don’t disagree with him. I probably have the ugliest boobs on the planet (yes really) and they’ve made me consider doing drastic things to myself before. That’s how much I hate them. But now to know he hates them too just hurts even more. I’ve suspected that he wasn’t into them or my body since we first had sex but I guess I tried to ignore my intuition and insecurities. I was also a virgin before I got with him, so showing someone my boobs for the first time was almost nauseating but it kind of just happened in the moment without me having a chance to hesitate or be shy. I feel embarrassed that I ever bared my vulnerability, I feel ashamed.

He asked me if I ever considered getting a boob job and I answered yes. I’ve thought about it a lot on my own over the years. The only reason I haven’t done it yet is because I don’t have the money. But now that a man has finally admitted what I’ve always feared someone would say to me, I’m really considering putting money aside for it. It may sound toxic but I want to be attractive for my boyfriend. Yes, I’m willing to go through the risks of surgery just to not be an embarrassment of a woman for men. I almost feel bad that he’s with me because he could have someone much more beautiful. The only reason we’re still together is because he likes me as a person, which I know is the only thing that really matters but I want to feel beautiful. For him and for me. I hate knowing that I have a deformity and that I’m considered gross and unattractive because of it.