Is it really better cutting toxic people out of your life, or is the grass just greener on the other side? '19F' '75F'

This situation pertains alot to my grandmother, but also just people in general. I feel like all I see lately is people cutting out the people who've hurt them over and over, and they seem happier for it.

All am is just sad.

My grandma was my main grandparent growing up, and she was a pretty solid grandma. But also a manipulative narcissist. I had put up with her behavior, every time I set a boundary she threatened and asked what she did to deserve the treatment. I'd back off.

She finially did something I couldn't just ignore. I was fiance'd earlier this year (now married). It was kind of sudden and took some family members by surprise my grandma included. Ive known my husband for over seven years, and he's my childhood best friend. I trust him with my life. I understand we'll change a lot in our 20s, but that's an adventure (good and bad) I want to take with him.

Well, my grandma also found out In that same conversation that my mental health had a dip, and had an bit of an attempt. I'm managing things better, but it was rough for a while. She obviously was worried. That's fine. What isn't is what she did with that worry.

She then went and contacted my mom, informers her that I attempted by stating that I lost faith in God, and was so miserably sad that I wanted to die, I thought only my husband loved me, and no one else did. Told her I was afraid of freedom so I was running to the arms of a man, my next prison. Compared my husband to be, to my childhood abuser, a literal child groomer. Then tried to convince my mom to convince me to anul my engament, and move to Texas with my her, my grandma.

I never said any of this.

SHE HAD NEVER EVEN MET MY FIANCE.

The only reason I knew any of this happened was because my mom came and to ask me if it was all true, because it sounded so unlike me.

My grandma them texted me the next morning asking if we could meet for brunch, because she was so excited to get to know my fiance. She acted as if nothing happened.

This is a woman who would never respect my decisions or boundaries. Granted, I never put the boundary of telling her to not to lie about my suicide and use it to try to manipulate me and my mom. Some of my family said it's my fault for not setting that boundary. Idk.

I couldn't have her at my reception. I couldn't trust her. I couldn't trust that she'd respect me, who I am.

Well, she eventually found out that she was uninvited from my reception. The conversations after were explosive.

Shots were taken from both sides. She uses anything she could. Said my mom was a horrible mother, but no! It was because my shitty dad. And she did SO much and this was her payment. That she couldn't be a manipulator because she didn't have a reason to. That she loves me. That she isn't toxic. That manipulators WANT things, and what has she ever wanted from me?

She said her only regret was not calling social services. It just went on and on. That everyone in the family knows I'm a liar, and that I painted her the "villian" in my life, and that she can't have such horrible people in her life, and to never contact her again.

I've lost so many family members this year. Several of my aunts disnt attend the reception, because they felt wrong going there without their mom (my grandma) and sometimes you need to "just let things go." My parents are in the middle of a divorce, my dad's went literally insane.

When does it fucking end?

When does "getting better" actually feel BETTER.

everyone says I'd regret not having my grandma at the reception for the rest of my life.

I don't. I'm just sad. Sad knowing what had to happen.

WHEN DOES EVERYTHING FINIALLY FEEL FUCKING OKAY?