Reality of teaching, from an ECT

Hey everyone. I think I just need to vent a bit and this seems like the perfect place to, as I’m hoping you guys will get it!

I’m in my first year of teaching, in an upper KS2 class. I work in a one form entry school, so I’m the only teacher in my year group. This week has been absolutely horrendous. Just when I’m finally gaining confidence and feeling like I’m getting a firm grasp on what I’m doing, I’ve had a meeting with my mentor and deputy head, and have been told that I’m doing a terrible job.

It all started about 2 weeks ago. Each week my mentor and I meet, and they usually give me targets for the coming week, which we then review at the next meeting. The targets set were to ensure I was on top of marking, and then to ensure I send my planning to my PPA cover a week in advance. Nothing major, or unachievable.

The week roles by and I’ve met my targets (to my knowledge). Friday arrives (the day I usually meet with my mentor) and I wake up feeling awful. Stomach cramps, feeling like I’m going to be sick. It was awful. I decide to go in and survive until lunch, then go home as I have my ECT time in the afternoon. I drive to work, pull up in the car park and vomit everywhere in my car. I get sent home, targets roll over to the next week (although I was never told this). I end up missing my PPA/ ECT time, and am off sick on Monday as well. I spent the whole weekend in bed, or in the bathroom vomiting.

Tuesday I’m back at school, and the whole week tends to follow a similar pattern. I’m not feeling too great, but I can cope. Multiple members of staff say to me each day that I look pale and should go home. I was exhausted, sleeping about 2 hours each night as the vomiting had irritated my throat and caused a nasty cough. Because of this, I was going home around 4:30 each day and as I wasn’t well enough to plan over the weekend, I’ve been planning day by day this week, which is far from ideal. This week, I’ll admit I am a bit behind on marking, and couldn’t send my cover for my PPA until closer to the time (still over a day in advance and time to ask questions if needed).

Friday comes around again and my mentor asks for a meeting. They tell me I haven’t met my targets, which is a concern. I’m a bit confused so ask what they mean, they explain that they and the deputy head have been secretly checking my books and have seen gaps in marking.

I arrive to the meeting in the afternoon, and the deputy head is in there too. They inform me they’re staying for the meeting, as they are now my induction tutor. They ask me how I’m coping and I explain that as I haven’t been well I am a big behind, but on the whole I think I’m doing ok. The deputy head then begins to tell me that actually I’m not as I’m not meeting my targets. She explains that she’s looked in my English books and there are weeks that I only teach 2 or 3 lessons, which isn’t true. I teach the lessons everyday. I did try to defend myself and say that we do always teach the lessons and that I’m not too sure where she’s seen that, but she said she doesn’t think I’m being honest.

The meeting basically continued with them telling me everything I’m doing wrong.

It was horrendous. I admit that this week I haven’t been quite as on top of things as I would have liked, but the lack of compassion and understanding for the fact that I have been extremely unwell feels rather unfair. After the meeting, I was sent an email from the deputy head saying that my targets need to be met each week no matter what, unless extenuating circumstances prevent this. Surely illness is an extenuating circumstance?

This is just the tip of the iceberg for my treatment at the school. Just to add to it, my mentor told me after the meeting that they knew the deputy head was going to be in it, but they didn’t tell me because they knew I’d worry. An ambush was clearly better.

I can see why people leave teaching so quickly!