"EvErYtHiNg Is AbOuT sEx"

I've seen this quote floating around; "everything is about sex, except sex, sex is about power". It's not. Neither part of that sentence is true. I was introduced to porn at 12 or 13 (which was probably the worst possible time because I was just starting to get really into girls) and porn taught me that girls were sex objects and nothing more.

The unrealistic and comical story lines in porn made me expect those in reality. When the teacher who made me stay after to talk about my grades didn't immediately begin to flirt with me, I was annoyed. That's really how my teenage brain worked. My friends and I would have open discussions at lunch about who our favorite pornstars were and why they were the best. This normalized watching porn to me. I chose my relationship partners based on who had the best sexual features, or who I had the best sex with, personality be damned, then I'd wonder why they ended up falling apart at the end.

It took me 11 years of watching porn regularly to realize that there's more to life than sex. So many of life's experiences aren't related to sex. And sex isn't about power, it's about enjoying your partner's body and sharing something special with that person. That last part is corny as hell but that's how I've had to retrain my brain to view sex and intimacy.

Y'all have been really supportive since I found this community, it's good to know that I'm not alone in this battle. No matter where you are on your journey, keep going. You'll be happy you did.