for the men

what is your biggest fear? something you'd truly consider a nightmare?

now imagine what a woman's biggest fear is.

the freedom you're blessed with, most of us would kill to have an ounce of that. my mom is scared of letting me out of the house alone, despite me being 20 years old. a few days ago, as i was coming home back from university, i had to go to a tandoor. as i was standing there, i saw 2 men staring me down with these disgusting looks on their faces. leaning forward to make sure they got a good look at me. can't miss out on any details ofc. all i could do was just stand there anxiously. just stating my experience doesn't make it seem like such a huge thing, but actually experiencing it, standing in an area with only men, getting shamelessly stared down like that is an entirely different thing. everyday when i come back home, i keep looking back in fear of being followed. i could go out decked in an abaya, hijab & niqaab & somehow i'd still be getting the same stares. which HAS happened multiple times. this is not to say that your clothing matters in cases like this, bc time & time again, we have seen otherwise.

the recent pgc case has horrified me. as does every other case like this. i can not even imagine what that poor girl must be going through. having suffered all that pain & trauma at the hands of a fucking SECURITY guard, whose job it was to provide safety & security to the students. not to mention all the stigma she might unfortunately have to face in the future just bc of a selfish, grown ass piece of shit, literal scum of the earth who couldn't care less about another human being. and supposedly the FEMALE principal of the college is covering this up, silencing anyone who speaks up about this? what fucking hope is there even left anymore. why do we have to bring the daughters/wives/mothers/sisters of these people in these discussions to make them realize the gravity & seriousness of these situations? how the fuck have we strayed so far from basic human empathy?

how the fuck are we supposed to live in a country that can't even ensure our safety as citizens of this god forsaken state. why do we have to suffer bc there's grown ass babies around us that can't keep it in their pants? why should we have to fear for our lives? to be a woman is to be ridiculed at every step, face all this bullshit & then be called weak for having breaking points.

i just wish these disgusting men would face worldly justice. but then again, is that really justice? sure, these pigs can be locked away from the general public to rot die & not be able to inflict any more harm on others, but what about the victims? they're left scarred for life & face stigma later on. to me, that's not justice. but then again, that's the closest we can ever get to justice.

there's so much more i want to say, but just can't bc i suck at explaining myself. i'm just so tired.