i have issues. I heard my coworker getting called pretty by a customer and i wanted to cry

I get so sad and want to cry every time my coworkers get called pretty, or just getting complimented at all. It’s not ill/malicious feelings towards my coworkers because I AGREE that they are so pretty. It’s just what makes me cry and sad is remembering how I’m invisible. I’m an unattractive person. I’ve never been randomly complimented by a girl or a guy. This happens all the time to my coworkers throughout my past 6 jobs. They don’t even have to try to look presentable, some of them just come in with a messy bun, no makeup, and baggy clothes, and they are still so beautiful and pretty. If I do any one of those things, I am not exaggerating I look like a bum because I am ugly. And when I do try to put on makeup anx wear clothes that don’t drown my body, I am still invisible. I am still not pretty and I don’t get complimented. I put on mascara hoping to get told I have pretty eyes. I put on lip gloss which makes my lips look very plump and hydrafed to gopefully get told my lips are prettily shaped. or like when i put hair product to enhance my curls or waves, it doesn’t get noticed. Nothing I do can fix myself. I am a failure

When I hear my coworkers get called pretty, I always feel my eyes instantly burn up and get very very watery. I feel a lump in my throat. I start wanting to go home, just wsnting to disappear from work and hide. No one in person has expressed anything considerate like that towards me. It goes beyond compliments too. I have no friends, no coworkers ever want to be my friend because I struggle to fit in with them. I cant understand the latest pop or fashion they’re talking about, and when I try to join in the conversation, I feel like an impostor. I do not fit in and I’m an outcast. If i try to look presentable I am still rough looking. Theres no saving until i get pladtic surery or any kind of work done. If I have been pretty my whole life, I wonder how different my life wojld be right now. I’d have way more experiences in life, more friends, more dating experiences with guys, more memories of me going out, more adventures, more opportunities, etc. im also not smart i’m lkterally slow in the head. I suck at so many subjects no matter how hard i try but my mind makes things so difficult that it makes me cry a lot at times when trying to school work or studying. I have no talents or skills either. I am a waste of space.

I am a disappointment overall in every aspect of my life. I wish my parents gave birth to a better, smarter daughter. I am less than ordinary. I added nothing to their lives with all mt failures in everything. They wasted so much money on me raising me. I wish I wasn’t their last child. I wish they stopped with 3 kids. I am a waste of time and space in this household