How to tell them I don't want to visit?

Every time I'm supposed to go over there for either holidays or what have you I want to rip my toenails out. This year the rest of the family is going to see them the day after Christmas, but I can't make it that day, so my dad is trying to have us visit him by ourselves. Just me, my husband, my dad and my stepmom. I would rather eat my own arm.

Of course, he's very persistent and daunting, how do I tell him I simply don't like being there? That going to their house makes me feel trapped? I suggested that we meet at a restaurant or something, but he said they want it to be at a house.

I'm 30 years old, I have to stand up for myself at some point. I don't know where to begin.