disgusted

After realizing my boyfriend was addicted to porn and masturbating to other girls he knew from school it broke me. I was disgusted with myself for about a year wishing I looked different and that he would just love me. Then it turned into being disgusted with him, not only with him but with men, now it has turned into society as a whole. I also cannot watch movies anymore. Every single show/movie always has some sexual references or something just down right disgusting . I cant even laugh at dirty jokes anymore because it just makes me sick. I have begun to feel like all men care about is sex, women are seen as objects and most play right into it. Children are being exposed to porn so young and it is shaping their minds and conditioning them more and more to degrade women and use them. It is not okay. I was watching shameless today (one of my favorite shows) and yes I know it is raunchy already but one scene in particular really got to me. Kevin (who has a wife) (and is grown) was standing under a stairwell on his phone and he looked up to see a girl wearing a skirt and then preceeded to stare and grin to himself after seeing her asscheeks. Just in the next scene it shows her in a highschool classroom and she is only a sophomore. Sophomores are 15-16 years old. Why was that shown on television . Why do they think this is ok????? I don’t think I would have given it a second thought before my boyfriend pulled his bullshit on me. It was only then I began to see the pattern of women being used and degraded every second of the day. I am comepletely disgusted and it makes me honestly want to off myself. Most don’t understand what I mean.