The amount of calories in food, I'm questioning my entire existence atp

This is gonna be a long post but I am literally in denial right now because of what I just read online.

I have been extremely uncomfortable with my weight for over 2-3 years now and it was not until October 2024 I decided to really take my weight seriously. Since then I have only lost 1 kgs/2.2 lbs. Which is very little weight considering I have been in a kind of extreme diet since October. I did the OMAD diet for about 1.5 week before I realised that it did not fit my lifestyle. Then I switched to calorie counting. I did some online searching and saw that my body burns about 1.9k calories a day on it's own. Since I just wanted to get the weight off I started eating 1.2k calories max everyday which according to the online website it said that would make me drop 0.5kg/1.1 lbs each week. And on top of that calorie restriction, since January 1st I made it a new years resolution to eat less sugar, processed and junk food which I've been doing so good on. But I kept going on the scale every day and seeing I only dropped 1 kgs/2.2 lbs since October. That's almost 4 months ago which is about 16 weeks and according to the website I should be down 8kgs/17.6lbs.

So I went online and tried to figure out the reason. I saw many posts and websites say the same thing. ''You might be eating too many calories if you aren't losing weight'', ''Are you really in a calorie deficit?'', ''Are you counting your calories right?''. So I searched up what foods contain a lot more calories than you might guess and my jaw dropped. All the foods I've been eating are putting on hundreds and hundreds of calories on my meals without me even realising it.

Since I cut out sugar the sugar cravings have been very difficult so I always ate fruit but specifically lots and lots of dark chocolate and nuts. Then I see that a small handful of nuts can contain about 200 calories, and a 100g bar of dark chocolate 70% which I ate in like 2 days contained 600 calories. That's not all bananas which I've been eating nonstop contain over 100 calories per banana!! I've been eating them like crazy about 2-3 everyday to control my sugar cravings. That's more than 200-300 calories alone. It would probably be less calories if I just ate the candy bar instead. And speaking of bars I've been eating a lot of protein bars since I thought they were healthy and good for my weight loss journey. And they contain up to 400 calories per bar????

As well as my healthy avocado toasts I made every single day for breakfast. A single medium avocado has 250-300 calories. I'm sorry what?! And not to mention me being so proud for switching out white bread to healthy breads with nuts and whole-grain. But their literally 150-200 calories for one slice.

I've been drowning my foods in olive oil since it's ''healthy'' and ''nutritious'' and then I see that 1 tablespoon is 119 calories. I feel like I'm daydreaming, how is that even possible? I can't even remember how much olive oil I put on each meal I have made!!

I could go on and on and make this post a whole essay with 10k words and there are a lot more foods I haven't mentioned that I kept stuffing my face with since it was ''healthy'' and ''light-food''.

Right now I sound like I do not know that food has calories. But I am just so in denial and shocked of how much I've been eating without me realising. Everything I eat on a daily basis has so many calories. I don't even know what to eat anymore.

Edit: okay I thought this was a safe space for me to tell you guys my experience to get help and advice. Seeing all these comments is making me very disappointed and uncomfortable. I’m 18 and can’t re-do my mistakes but only learn from it and learn more along the way. 🩷

Edit 2: thank you so much for all of the comments. I have downloaded some apps you guys mentioned and went through a whole day. It’s night time right now where I live and will briefly explain my day with the new knowledge I gained. I ate 3 meals and a snack where I counted every single calorie and it all came up to 1,093 calories in total. I know you guys recommended me to eat 1,500-1,700. But I’m feeling pretty full right now even with the little amount of calories. I’m a short girl so that may also be the reason. 😊

Again thank you for the help !