So what actually IS a "gold star lesbian"?

Historically, I've understood the term "gold star" to indicate "never had sexual intercourse with a man." More recently, I've understood it to mean "never had any consensual contact with a man." Even more recently, I've observed a few lesbians online insisting that even a lesbian who tried to enjoy a sexual relationship with a man out of desperation to force herself into heterosexual attraction is, technically, bisexual.

The latter definition rather alarmed me, because I have had two consensual but disgusting relationships with men out of the frantic need to try and become straight. I hated every minute of it, but I still had to try because I was always told that I was not allowed to be gay. I even tried to convince myself that I was bisexual, but there was never any attraction to men. (I believe that a woman who has ever felt attracted to men has no right to the word "lesbian" and that she is, by definition, either straight or bisexual.)

Ultimately, this discourse doesn't matter; and yet, in some ways, perhaps it does. I would just like to better understand what people mean when they use that term.

ETA: I see that there has been much down downvoting about the "febfems" comment. I will always stand by the assertion that a woman who has ever been attracted to men is bisexual, not lesbian, and that claiming otherwise harms us.