I need to find purpose in my life

I'm depressed and I have no purpose. That's why I want to learn gamedev. I got obsessed with it. But is it a good choice? I don't care about money, but I don't know what to do. The alternative is to vegetate in my depressive state. I have doubts: I read this subreddit for a while and I'm afraid I could be an 'idea guy', and from what I understood the idea guy is the worst you can be 💀, so I don't want to be one. The point is that I envision what kind of game is my ideal in my mind but I don't even know if it's any good and I know that I should forget It for now, but worse than that, I don't even know where to start learning: programming? Modeling? Level design? ?!? I don't know. And I'm aware I can't do everything on my own but I also know I will never find partners to work with because I'm bad at social skills. So I don't know. Any sound advice? If it turns out that I am in fact an 'idea guy' 💀, just know that I already know I'm a naive, pathetic loser and I suck. I know that I can't work on my dream game without proving first that I can learn the skills, and then apply them with small projects. I know my dream game is just a dream and will never happen. I just wanted to share here to have like a pat on the shoulders and a word of wisdom or encouragement. I really respect you guys that managed to accomplish something. Keep up the good work 💪🏻