I'm such a huge waste of potential

I 17f hate how I'm such a huge fucking waste of potential. I was such a creative child, I could've made it as an artist but I can't bring myself to pick up a pencil anymore, I hate my drawings. I was a smart, "gifted" child(which I know is kind of bs but still) slowly turning into a slow mentally stunted adult. I can barely cope with daily chores and uni assignments(and I'm doing the easiest degree ever), I have no idea how I'm ever gonna hold down a job. I ruined my beautiful body with food and I'm trying desperately to get it back. I wish I could just stop eating forever, maybe then I would amount to something

The kid version of me would be so disappointed with what she turned into.