I think I'm attracted to bigger girls.

I've been in mostly relationships with thin women. But my whole life I've thought fat girls were pretty. I brought it up to a friend once and he laughed at me. I've always been around men who only date very thin women and who say nasty things about any girl over a size 8. I'll be 30 soon and I've been single for a while. I can't seem to click with anyone. I work out a lot and there's a woman there at the gym sometimes walking the treadmill. She's a big girl and her smile is so beautiful. I try not to stare at her but sometimes I wonder if I should talk to her. But in the back of my mind I think about what my friends will think, what my family will think. I know it's stupid. Does anyone else feel like this?