Avoidants, have you rejected people you actually like? If so, why? Where there cases where you eventually came around?

I've been in love with a friend of mine for a long time (both of us are around 30 years old). We even dated briefly, but the timing was really bad on my end (a family member was about to pass away and I was still recovering from narcissistic abuse in my previous relationship) and I needed him too much. He's autistic (as am I), introverted and traumatized from having been cheated on in his only long-term relationship. I need some general perspective on the avoidant psychology to get some kind of idea of how I might be able to progress, if at all.