Mixed Signals and Second Chances: Should I Go Through with This Dinner?

I’m seeing her today, but I feel overwhelmed, nervous, and even a bit nauseous.

We started dating last August, but then decided to just be friends—a choice I regretted deeply the moment I suggested it. Since then, we’ve stayed friends, though it’s been a bit on and off depending on what was happening in our lives.

During the holidays, I thought there might be a chance of us reconnecting, and it got me wondering about the possibility. Now that I’m back in the city, I suggested we meet, and we planned a dinner at my place for tonight.

The thing is, I feel really hesitant now, almost sick at the thought of going through with it, even though I’ve wanted this for so long. Adding to my unease, her recent texting has been very inconsistent, and the last time we spoke (nearly two months ago), she mentioned she was starting to see someone. She hasn’t brought it up since, so I have no idea where things stand.

I guess all I can do is wait and see where this leads. At least I got up early today to clean the flat—I don’t want to make a bad impression! 😬