How do I stop hating myself?

Do to bullying and abuse in my childhood I’ve always had low self esteem. I just realized yesterday that since I was 8 years old I have been telling myself that “your nothing” “your an ugly fat slob” “no one cares about you”.

I struggled to believe that even my own family loved me until my teenage years.

Now that Im 19 I feel helpless. I’ve been telling myself this for so long it’s literally all I know.

I’ve tried telling myself nice things, and telling myself how much people care about me but my brain literally refuses to accept that.

I feel like I’ll never be a normal person.