RANT / DRAINED / DEMOTIVATED / advice needed

i gave 2 years to clat...skipped school life (took dummy) , studied honestly...scored well in mocks also ( top 20) ....did gk maths eng everything....sacrificed my boards ( shitting my board exams currently)....i started with maths and logical reasoning section and because of certain wrong qs messed up the whole paper...got a rank worse than when i was in 11th lmao.....didnt feel slat olets etc form.....forced to take jindal exam as a backup.....hoped for a scholarship in jindal....missed the scholarship by 1 mark ( 29 marks)....parents not allowing for a drop.....dont wanna settle for an avg college cause like MOCKS WENT GOOD I FEEL LIKE I CAN DO BETTER......give advice