Atheist Comedy: Jesus as a Stargate SG1 character

I would love to see a Sci-Fi movie about Jesus instead of just the Egyptian Gods or the Norse Gods. How about if Jesus was a StarGate Goa'uld who could turn water into wine? His spaceship could have a Cross Canon. Perhaps his troops could have ray guns shaped like crosses? Maybe Jesus could run on water to catch an Asgard in a boat?