I’m dying to go back to him.

Please give me some kind of motivation not to go back to him. I finally left. I’ve been wanting to do this for some time now. I didn’t. But the pain is unbearable. I miss him terribly. I keep thinking about what if we just do things different this time and we could make it better? What if I just try harder to make it work. Will my life actually be better without him? What if the bad times are worth it for the good times?