Anyone else been having a "mid life crisis" ever since turning 30?

I have never felt like such an absolute loser lately. I'm 30f now I moved back with my abusive mother about 2 years ago. I don't have a real career, currently unemployed, i lost my car back in August, still single, still a virgin, never had a real relationship, never finished college... and my mental health is always getting in my way.

I need to move back out because I can't tolerate living with my mother but ive been sending job applications non stop since I got fired the day before Thanksgiving. It's harder to find something when I have no reliable transportation.

I fear that if I stay here any longer my s**cidal thoughts will return. My mental health was already very severe pretty much all of 2024 and I'm only just now starting to recover but it doesn't help when I live with an abusive parent who was controlling of me my whole life.

Im the oldest of all my siblings and they all managed to leave home already but I'm still here stuck with her like an absolute loser.

I feel so embarrassed to be in this position. i have nothing in my life to show for. I feel like an absolute loser...and I feel so stuck in life right now.