Did anyone else go through a period where they just couldn’t listen to X’s music for some time after he passed?

I know everyone processes emotions differently, especially when it comes to tragic circumstances surrounding people we admired or felt connected to through their art.

I still remember how shaken I was on June 18, 2018, following the news in real time. I saw a rap media Instagram post saying X had been shot, watched Ski’s Instagram lives as he followed the situation, and kept checking Twitter for updates. When I finally saw the confirmation that he had passed, it hit me hard.

At first, I went back to his SoundCloud and streaming discography, but the weight of his death—and knowing how heavy the topics in his music could be—stopped me after a while. Seeing someone so young, who was growing and on a path to redemption, have his life cut short so suddenly was devastating.

For about a week, I couldn’t listen to his music. But when they released the music video for “SAD!” and announced that Gekyume was on the way, it helped me return to his music. The release of the original “Ghostbusters” (with Trippie Redd) just days after he passed helped too. Watching the “SAD!” and “Moonlight” videos made it feel like he was still here, even if only for a little while longer.