I loath suppositories

I avoided them for a month. They sat in my dresser and just stared at me, I was terrified of them.

Last night I finally sucked it up and tried it. It wasn’t as bad as I thought but it made my stomach all bubbly and gurgle.

Now I’m sitting on my bed with my next one in my hand. I hate this. I know it wasn’t that bad, but I have so much anxiety, I want to cry, I’m nauseous, I feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack. I already did it once and I don’t get why I can’t do it again. This is such an extreme reaction compared to last time.

TMI, but when I was a kid, I had to get enemas a lot due to constipation issues. I hated them so much my parents had to physically hold me down while I kicked and screamed at the top of my lungs. It was extremely traumatic. So I’m not sure if it’s just reminding me of that but I feel like I can’t do this. I want to burst into tears I’m so scared of it, I want to throw up.