I have something really important i need to do right now but I'm wasting what little time i have left in my life on reddit. Tw suicide

I need to go finish writing my suicide note but I'm wasting my fucking time on reddit. I don't know when I'm gonna do it, but it's probably going to be pretty soon, so I would like to have my note done.

I can't handle living anymore. Constant anxiety from school has been such a major problem for me. Whenever I get a test back without a perfect score, I cut myself. I cut myself for being mildly cringe. I cut myself for whatever reason that's always so fucking small that it's forgotten by the time I'm done. Two people know about this. Two of my friends, and they are the only people in my life who actually know the slightest thing about who I really am. I constantly have to hide my mental health struggles or I risk getting yelled at by my father.the one time I opened up a little and told my mom about my suicidal thoughts, she gave me the most insulting remedy she could possibly come up with. Different vitamins. I'm done with not being taken seriously about this shit. When I finally fucking die, maybe then people will realize how fucking serious i am. There's also some very personal things that could be easily traced back to me if I posted about them, so I won't go into details about that bit. Basically, the principle of my first middle school made up a bunch of bullshit because she was homophobic, then because of that I got statewide news attention for a little bit and now my whole fucking life is ruined.

I want to fucking die. I want to shoot myself in the fucking chest and feel every ounce of pain. I want to be in agony as I drown in my own fucking blood. I want to die slowly watching blood pour out of me. I want to be in agony never experienced by anyone else before. I want to fucking suffer.