Losing my edge

So lately I (40M) have felt like I have a case of the “yips”. Any golfers amongst you will know what that means and for everyone it’s like the jitters but throws you totally off your game and really messes with your head.

Last year was our first year in the LS and some of it felt really good. We rushed bits we shouldn’t have and we made mistakes, had arguments, lost our nerve, got it back again, made friends, had fun and generally had a bit of a rollercoaster. By the end of the year I was struggling a bit with my wife (40F) playing without me and had some really difficult moments with panic and anxiety. Over Christmas though it felt like a huge weight had lifted and I had somehow worked it all out in my head and found my way.

Then, mid January, I had a play date with a female friend and after that just felt like my walls were crashing in. I had a really strong reaction of guilt and anxiety and fear and I haven’t been the same since. My wife is really disappointed because she has only just started to find her feet and now feels that I’m pulling the rug from under her and I feel frustrated because I was feeling confident and then just boom something flipped in my head and I’m struggling to understand why, and how to get it back.

I enjoy the LS, I’ve enjoyed making friends, playing, partying and having a great time. I’ve enjoyed (for the most part) learning to embrace my wife’s sexuality beyond ourselves, and seeing her playing with others is a huge turn on for me normally. I don’t know how to get back to feeling good about it all and I wonder if anyone else has gone through this and has any advice?

TIA folks x