I Noticed

The first thing I noticed was that you made me feel second to none, 

And knew right away that you were the one. 

The next thing I noticed was your eyes 

How they housed for miles a twilight sky

Dark pools to get lost in, searching for light 

Then the sound of your voice and its measured rhymes

A song that I’d played hundreds of times, the tune of familiar lullabies

Warm like amber whiskey, sipped late in the night 

And pictured shared whispers between you and I 

Next, I noticed your wit and your charm 

Its propensity for levity or casual harm 

And its interchangeability a cause for alarm 

I would have seen it as a warning, if I were smart 

I noticed your smile and how it never faltered 

Delivered with compliments but it never altered 

With insult or injury or thinly veiled rage 

Tight on your face with each war that you waged 

And each fight we fought, voice instantly raised 

Fists tight at your side, that smile betrayed 

Then I noticed your inflated sense of self worth

And that it complemented how superior you thought that you were 

And how things always had to be how you would prefer  

Otherwise your wounded ego would stir up harsh words 

That you later would claim were all just a blur 

I noticed you had a way of blaming anyone else, 

Society, anxiety, everything but yourself,

I noticed how quick you always were to deflect, 

Your ability to project and inability to reflect. 

I noticed your lack of accountability, your constant instability, the way that you spiraled from civility, And the darkness in your eyes stopped feeling like tranquility and your voice had turned into hostility and your smile represented volatility and your wit wasn’t charming when you used it to hurt me. 

Now I notice how curated you are, and your tendency to leave bruises and scars, 

How you’re only half as smart as you think that you are,

And how you claim that you miss me since I’ve learned to stay far. 

I notice how you’re only kind at first 

Because it helps you manipulate, control, and coerce

I notice how happy I am now that you’re gone, 

And I notice how I was wrong -

You were never the one.