The AFAB enby urge to cut your hair short

I've always had long hair, sometimes down to my butt. I'm always told that i have such beautiful hair. One hairdresser thought i had extensions because its thick from top to bottom. I do like my hair. But there are so many days where i would like short/middle length hair. Especially when my depression is strong. I don't have the energy to brush them. 90% of the time i wear them in a bun anyway. And in my head, i would like "good" with shorter hair.

But it's the one thing on my body thats "good". The one thing i get complimented about. Do i really want to change that? I don't know. I can't decide. What if it's just because im generally unsatisfied and unhappy with my body and i just try to change everything i can at the moment. Dyeing my hair didn't really do anything good either (Just weird dreams)

I wish we could change our appearance every day. Want short hair today? Gotcha. Want a more masculine face or masc organs today? Ok, here you go? Don't want any "sex/gender" today? Comin' right up.

I know that there are wigs. But it's not the same. And i hate hats, so i will probably hate wearing wigs too.

Gawd damn.