I’m tired

Been counting my days on days since always find myself resetting and resetting I stated using the app 249 days ago and my longest streak is still 20 years I’m tired and fed up of being in the never ending circle I did something even worse and paid someone for fucking nudes what have I become🤦🏽‍♂️ how can I stoop that low to buy content disgusted and embarrassed by what I’ve become, my average day is only 3 days. I’m also Christian and I pray and promise God I won’t do it again then just go and betray his trust 😔. I’m just coming here to rant cause there’s no one I can tell how tired I am