What's scary? When you're also considering yourself as narc too.

I am now confused whether I am the narc or her. I am still figuring out my actions for our past chaos and arguments. I can't figure out who's who. It seems like her and at the same time, it seems like it was. Since when we're still okay she always said that "You're a narcissist."

Help. What should I do to figure out who's the narc?