I don’t know who needs to hear this, but…

It doesn’t matter how many times you say Ikechi put Emem’s hand on his crotch…

It doesn’t matter how many times you post pictures of him touching her…

He has a right to change his mind about whether or not he wants to have sex with her or be physically intimate. I don’t think I’d have to explain that if Ike was a woman, or if y’all had decided “you liked him,” but it’s true.

And his reason doesn’t have to make sense or be “good” to you. So the fact that he has a right to change his mind isn’t negated by him being insecure about measuring up to her standards. Is it stupid? Yes. But does it change the fact he doesn’t yet know if he wants to be intimate with her? No.

And for all you Emem defenders I know will come out of the woodworks, this doesn’t mean Emem necessarily did anything wrong. This isn’t binary thought where the one person has to be right so the other is wrong. She didn’t assault him. She didn’t r-word him. But she did attempt to initiate sexual activity when Ike had clearly stated he wasn’t into it.

That’s where the “aggressive” comment came from. He probably used the wrong word, but social commentary aside, he probably meant “forward” or “pushy”.

I liken it to a high school boy who wants a handjob from his girlfriend. She’s said she’s not ready and he’s ok with that, but at the same time, every time they’re together he’s talking about it or suggesting it or intimating it. He’s not a BAD person, but it’s annoying if you’re the other person.

The word Ike should’ve used is “sex pest”. Emem is a sex pest. Dude told her he wasn’t ready for that yet, but every chance she got she was talking about it or suggesting it or trying to get him to take a shower.

Here’s a hint—again, I wouldn’t have to say this if the roles were reversed—somebody tells you they’re not into being intimate yet, let THEM take the lead in that stuff. Let THEM tell you when they’re comfortable.

And to close, miss me with all the “hey Ikechi” b.s. I’m not him. I’m not related to him. I don’t know him. I also don’t like him. He’s similar to Madison and Michelle for some of the same reasons. He doesn’t like his partner—don’t really care the reasons—and it’s manifesting itself in the wrong ways.

Doesn’t change the fact that he’s allowed to say he’s not into being intimate with his partner—or change his mind about—and it doesn’t really matter his reason. That’s what this post is about. It’s not about anything else other than that.