I don't even know how I feel

Sab fuckall ho gaya hai I don't think I haven't seriously studied ANYTHING in the last 1-1.5 year Drop le liya hu kyunki pata hai 100% nahi diya hu apna, but beech beech mai depression aata hai Sometimes I feel like doing nothing but just lay down in my bed all day long I just want to forget all my past memories and look forward to excel in drop year But sabse zyada meri iss baat se gaand phat rahi hai ki jan mai hi 1st attempt ho gaya toh?