The Monolith Problem

A common trait among incels is that they treat women as a monolith. As if every woman wants the same thing. No complexity, or nuance, or variation.

And that doesn’t work, because people do vary wildly. Here’s a few examples with names changed of people I’ve known over the years.

Jessica - was seemingly born with wanderlust. She hated settling in one place for too long and always wanted to see what was around the bend just out of view. Her mom died when she was a kid and her dad taught her how to hunt and fish. She left home when he died in a car accident and had no interest in having kids and formed a network of friends across the miles who she would see occasionally. I don’t know if it was a prerequisite… but every boyfriend she ever mentioned, knew how to gut a deer as well as her.

Patricia - Her family was upper middle class, on the older side when they had her. She got on well with her mom but was very much a daddy’s girl. Very girly, loved fashion, hated getting dirty, had a love of books and liked learning new things. She wanted to do photography and start a family, running a studio part time and capturing family harmony on film.

Celeste - A deeply religious southern belle, very close to her family, she wanted nothing more than to be a housewife and have a man be a man and lead the house she’d turn into a home. She hated alcohol and drunkenness and loathed seeing men act like out of control boys. Huge Georgia bulldogs fan, loved football, she wanted to play hostess with the mostest on holidays.

Hannah - Came from money, full scholarship to a good school. Had real interest in finance, if ambition were a photo, it would be her picture. She wanted a partner, but one who was a peer in her field. Power couple dreams, goal of retiring by forty-five and then seeing the world’s glamorous sites. Always dressed in designer clothes.

Julia - A product of a home that wasn’t very accepting, she knew she was asexual and gay when she was young, alcoholic father, multiple siblings less than doting mother. She graduated high school out of ‘spite’ because after she dropped out people told her she couldn’t hack it. She went to college for the same reason. Spite. A goddess of baking (her crème cheese cookies I would literally kill to have more of) her life goal was to run a traveling bakery truck.

Fran - The daughter of Central American immigrants, she could never measure up to her sister’s brilliance and was her gambling father’s ’second favorite’. A. Gifted musician who taught herself guitar and captivated people who listened to her sing, her life was about church and family and that’s it. No clubs, no bars, and she once drank a Long Island ice tea without knowing it had alcohol, and was accidentally drunk as a result.

Greta - A gamer to the core, she wore headphones to avoid talking to roomies, out of shape, she spent most of her free time when not in school, yelling over voice chat and pwning newbs in first person shooters. Never showed interest in socializing as most do, never dated that I saw, but always polite if greeted.

Lisa - Restauranteur, worked at a chain and was trying to rise, had a problem working under women because she felt they didn’t like mentoring other women. Kinda sexist. Thought male cooks were better because they tended to experiment more. Looked out for herself and dated with the intention of settling down one day. A ‘man’s woman’ she had only male friends and never talked about her family before adulthood.

These are just a handful of the wildly differing variations of women I’ve known, some as partners, some as relatives, some as coworkers or clients or tenants.

If you try to boil them all down to ‘want six foot chad with white skin who treats them bad’ you’re gonna fail.

There are dozens of others different from even those wild varieties. Every woman is different. And if you fail to appreciate it, understand it, and adapt to it, you will fail.