i think im turning into a femcel

(ignore the user flair, please. and also the crappy english) so im a 15yo girl and recently ive noticed i have a femcel ish personality and taste. ive never had a boyfriend, i havent given my first kiss, nobody has ever asked me out, no boy has showed interest for me in all my life. all of my friends have a bf, gf, significant other, situationship or a sneaky link, even 2 of my friends are not virgins (which pisses me off a little bit) and i dont. ive become bitter and resentful to couples, whenever one of my friends talks to me about the person they like or their couple i stop responding and ignore them, stand up and leave or just straight up tell them im not interested in the topic and talk about anything else. it fill me with rage the fact that they have their teenage romance shit while i just rot in my bedroom

today was my breaking point, we celebrated saint valentines day at my school and everyone was with their bf or gf, all of my friends got flowers and cakes and chocolate and little notes and i got absolutely nothing, like i didnt even get a fucking good morning, i was the only person that didnt get a gift. one of my friends confesed his feelings for a girl that usted to be my friend and everyone was happy and cheering exept me, i just cried and sobbed on my desk. tomorow their going on their first date to the cinema and i just feel so depressed and lonely. im so fucking jelous, like i want my friend to be happy w his gf but at the ame time i just cant bring myself to feel any joy, i feel isolated from everyone each time they talk about love related issues.

im literaly the femcel phenotype, glases, bangs. favourite bands? radiohead and the smiths, favourite movies? girl, interupted and the virgin suicides, favourite authors? Silvia Plath and Alejandra Pizarnik. i should also say im a high funtioning autistic person , which i know doesnt excuse my behaviour but i thought it should mentioned

i need advice and help to grow out of this, ive lost a handfull of friendships becouse of this and i want to be a normal teen.