Over 40 and never dated, starting to feel bitter honestly

I'm in my 40's, I've been rejected by hundreds of women in my life without a single success getting a first date. Despite what people will say, it will absolutely destroy your self confidence and esteem, you'd have to be a sociopath for it not too.

When I was a kid, I was fat and depression from rejection and social ostracizing turned that into morbid obesity. I was 6'6 and got up to 500+lbs at my heaviest, I either disgusted or terrified women. A few years ago, I lost the weight and gained muscle. It's done wonders for my esteem and quality of life but I fear i may have done this too late. At this point in life, I'm so far behind and women my age seem more like they reject me because they simply aren't as social as they were in their younger years. They are coming out of bad long term relationships, struggling with rent/money, having existential crisises, and I'm too inexperienced to talk my way into persuading them otherwise.

I don't relate to anyone, least of all other people who claim to be similar. Women will tell me they are in exactly the same situation despite having sex and/or relationships. A lot of men will say similar things as well and then the men who are in a similar predicament usually have world views that correspond with incel rhetoric, which I have no use for .

I'll be a year older soon and already have 1 rejection this year from a woman. I genuinely do not understand how any of this shit works and feel like I'm not allowed to date and experience the same human connections most already did in their teens.

I also want to point out that even though I'm a virgin, I don't care about that as a social concept. I don't care for an escort to 'lose it', I care that being a virgin is a demonstrable consequence of not being able to connect and our up with someone, however brief or satisfying the experience is.