She moved on so fast

I’ll keep it as short as possible. Me (26M) and my girlfriend (23F) of 2.5 years broke up mid-November, due to needing a break from eachother as things got very toxic. We still kept in contact for a couple weeks, despite our friends advising otherwise. It really seemed like it was us against the world, but they quickly turned to the world against me. She got very cold very fast. She would block my number so I couldn’t contact her, then as soon as she has something to say, she would unblock me. I was okay with it because I figured she can heal however she needs too. She knew where I always stood; I just want her back when we are both healthy.

During the weeks leading up to Christmas, we had a couple conversations here and there, but on our final conversation on Dec 21st, she told me she has too much going on, is going to focus on herself, and that she “doesn’t need to sleep with anyone, I went 20 years without sleeping with anyone, I can go another 20 years, I’m not missing anything” . I really appreciated that. She could have easily told me it was none of my business, she could have told me that it might happen, but instead she chose to tell me she would actively not do that, as she now understands what she values and she does not want to give up her body to anyone else. I held onto that and cherished it. I kept her Christmas gifts close to me, and vowed to hold onto them until I see her again.

Well, yesterday she updated our “Baby Making Playlist” on Spotify . We haven’t spoken in two weeks. I’ve been coming to terms with the breakup, finally being okay with it. And then I see that she removed the songs that we held especially dear, and added a couple more songs. It’s obvious she has already slept with someone, or is getting ready. She doesn’t even know I still have access to the Spotify playlist, so this isn’t some attempt to just make me upset. It hurts because all I can picture is her sleeping with someone while playing OUR playlist. It disgusts me and makes me nauseous. Why would she go out of her way to say she can go 20 years, when all it took was 2 weeks without us talking for her to do this? I can’t stop overthinking it and feeling betrayed. I know she owes me nothing, but I still love her so much. We talked marriage, kids, all the sweet stuff. The undying love and being eachothers soulmates, just needing time apart. But after this I just feel so broken, it hurts more than the breakup.

I know that this is just my sign to stop holding on and to move onto better things, I’m just venting to you all because I need an outlet and for someone to let me know it’s okay for me to be upset.