What is appropriate?

I feel like friend loss isn't talked about enough...it's like if they were your best friend, the grief is obvious and more justifiable, but if you were "just" a friend, then what do you do?

How do you cope with the guilt over grieving when people closer to them must have it worse?

How much grief is acceptable and appropriate? How do you not feel like you're just "making it all about yourself" when you tell someone you need some time to yourself to cope and heal?

He was one of my very close friends, arguably among the top. How do I not feel guilty for saying he was one of my closest friends when it was true? It's like it feels wrong to try to quantify it now. Like I need to say it to justify to others why it hurts, but I also feel guilty like I'm making an excuse.

Is it appropriate to need to take time off from work? How much time? Is it appropriate to be angry? Is it appropriate to fixate on it? How do I not feel guilty and afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing and causing more hurt for his family or partner?

I wish he was still here. He would know how to answer these questions, or at least be willing to talk to me about it and listen without making me feel worse. I don't know why it's so hard to let myself feel this pain. It's like there's no map for this kind of thing.