Which books would you recommend to a romantasy reader that aren't romantasy?

I know this might sound weird, but please bear with me!

So, I started out reading romantasy (fantasy romance), but discovered that a lot of it is more just focusing on the romantic relationship and sex than external plot, which I don't really like. I like romance and sex in a story, but not at the expense of an external plot. I also found a lot of YA romantasy to have similar issues with no plot or no plot structure, cliche characters, and felt like they were written for tropes even if there is no sex. (I thought Lightlark and Powerless were absolutely terrible.)

Some people have suggested to me I might prefer "regular" fantasy more, so I'm open to trying it.

The thing is, I associate "regular" fantasy with stoic characters, highly triggering content like torture, rape and gore, and very little drama or delving into interpersonal relationships, which I don't like, so I'm afraid of picking up just any random book.

I like having an external plot with a good plot structure in place (even better if there is a romance subplot), with some horror and mystery if possible, but I also don't want to be grossed out with body horror, torture, rape, etc that's super graphic. More importantly, I want there to be interpersonal conflict and that characters aren't all stoic. You could even argue I like my characters to be more on the cartooney side in terms of personality, mannerisms, and dialogues. For example, most of the characters in shows/movies like Game of Thrones, The Witcher, Lord of the Rings felt too stoic for me. I loved, for example, Baldur's Gate 3, Agatha All Along, and Arcane. I want more of that kind of character writing.

Bonus points if it's sapphic. <3

Do you have any book recommendations that you think might appeal to someone like me?

EDIT: Whoa! Did not expect so many comments! First of all, thank you very much for commenting and writing down your recs! However, I've already said in the title of the post I'm looking for non-romantasy recs yet people keep recommending me popular romantasy books like "yeah but this one's different/good."

I was hoping to get some recommendations specific to my tastes that I've outlined at the start of the post so I wouldn't have to do so much of my own research and potential spoil/ruin a story before I've read it, but I feel like I've gotten so many different recs alongside just the most popular books in the genre like Sanderson because they're popular that I can't help but feel they don't really align well with my request, and I've already seen a few recommendations for books I've read that are exactly the kind I was hoping to avoid.

Once again, thank you kindly for taking the time to post a recommendation, but I think it was a mistake to ask for recs like this to begin with in hindsight because what constitutes as "stoic character" and "plot" seems to be highly subjective. I'm going to leave this thread here for other people to find recs, but I hope future people who choose to comment will be more specific with their recs and/or ask me for further clarification of my preferences if necessary.

Thank you again! <3