I can't put my dog to sleep

I know I might get hate for this but I'm so sorry, i can't do it. I just can't. For context, my dog is 16 and she has kidney disease, blind, deaf and with ccd. Recently she's been struggling to move and keeps drooping her head down when walking and she's struggling with appetite a bit as well. I called the vet and he said he's 80% sure I should put my dog to sleep and there's nothing else he can give my dog at the moment that im giving her (she's getting gaba and her other disease supplements) my bf keeps pressuring me to put her to sleep but I just can't. I can't do it. I've had this dog since it was a baby and I was 7 and I cant do it. I've been sobbing at just the thought of me giving her away to the vet and never seeing her again. I cant do it y'all, I keep arguing about this with my bf because I want my dog to pass where she's always been most comfortable, at home. I cant stand the idea that she's still trying to walk but I'll just put her to sleep. I don't know what's wrong with me but it almost makes me hysterical to think of her leaving me and I cant do anything. I don't want to do anything. I just want to have my dog in my arms and keep fighting with her until the end. I've literally been crying all day at the though of scheduling that euthanasia. It's like someone is ripping my child away from me. I'm sorry if i sound crazy.