Maybe God has given up on me

I messed up big time after almost three months of abstinence. As a result, I've become feeling more emotionally empty lately, yet I am feeling an overwhelming urgency to...feel something towards God? Be it contrition, sorrow, any pious feeling, or any hint of sincerity, but I simply can't. I feel empty and yet this feeling weighs heavily on me. I want to feel genuine contrition, but I can't even pray to begin because there's no emotional motive to do so, making it twice laborious that I can't even say a short prayer. I can't even cry, which I usually did before when I sinned gravely.

HELP. ? If I truly love God I wouldn't have sinned mortally in succession. I fear that maybe God has given up on me, or that I maybe don't love God because of my attachment to sin. I don't feel bad enough for my sins, though I don't necessarily take delight in it as well. I'm thinking of just giving up and yet a part of me still wants to try again. But how can I go to confession if I'm not contrite enough? I would appreciate helpful insights or even just prayers.