surprisingly okay? but going back and forth

does anyone else feel this constant back and forth after a break up? like one second i’m super depressed and crying stuck mourning what we had and the next im feeling okay and almost confident about moving on? i’m just a ball of emotions and so embarrassed about how i acted during the break up when i was overwhelmed by the shock of it. i said some things i really shouldn’t have. but then again i have had this wave of relief wash over me too since i had so much anxiety about our relationship for so many reasons (which probably helped push us to break up). idk im just experiencing a lot and it’s my first real break up and im just shocked at how okay i am about it all.