3 months no contact

I’m coming up on 3 months no contact and my feelings for my ex have resurfaced. I was honestly doing so well and something about this milestone just makes me so sad. I’m sad he hasn’t reached out. I’m sad because he’s not the person I thought he was. I’m sad because I don’t think he ever loved me and in fact I think he actually despised me.. I’m sad because I was myself with him and he kicked me to the curb. Any advice for how to feel through this? I feel like I’ve made so much progress these past few months and it’s all for what.