Learn to be a good friend

Few days ago, i had something extremely intense going on in my life - perhaps the most intense moment.

I didn’t feel good in my head, mentally i felt like i was sinking to a very dark place. I decided to text a few of my “close” friends.

Friend 1: busy with a one night stand Friend 2: didn’t even reply Friend 3: seen

I don’t know if i have horrible friends, but all i wanted is just one person to talk about to. Not even about my problem, just talk, take my mind off things. This particular day i was feeling the lowest I ever did. It felt like i had no reason to be around really. And i don’t even have this moments often, literally the one time i felt like this and wanted to reach out to a “friend”. I took a couple of sleeping pills so I could sleep it off instead. It still wasn’t easy.

All i want to say is, being friends isn’t just about doing things together, go makan together, and taking photos for Instagram. It’s about checkin up on one another sometimes, and asking “how are you really doing” when they’re going through something.

The next day none of them texted back asking if I’m okay or not. While personally I’ve decided these people are no longer my friends rather just people i know and decided to not depend on them anymore, i still find it sad how common this sort of “friendship” is nowadays. Adult friendships feels so transactional, and i find that very fckd up. Even then I’ve been there in times like this for them instead. I know if i text one of them to lepak now talk bs, always ok. But what are friendships if you cant relay on them emotionally too? It’s the first time i felt like I needed them emotionally too.

Maybe it’s a me problem.