I really am my own worst enemy

I’ve been pretty binge free the past few months which I was really proud of and thought I was finally recovering. I went to Trader Joe’s today and saw this vanilla sheet cake and convinced myself I’d be able to ration it. I never never never by snacks or large sweets in the past because I knew I COULDNT ration it. I had a tiny piece with dinner then put it away and was satisfied. I was so proud of myself until a few hours later I couldn’t. Stop. Thinking. About that damn cake. I couldn’t get any work done because all I could think about was that stupid cake and how there was no way I’d be able to ration it. I might as well just binge it all now so that I can start clean tomorrow is what I thought, and that’s exactly what I did. I ate more than half the cake before finally stopping myself and tossing it. I was so close to proving something to myself but once again got stuck in my own head and now I’m back at square one… ugh I feel awful