[New Update]: Found out my parents have had credit cards in my name for years and recently defaulted on all of them. I'm out $20,000 and now they want me to pay for their new car.
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/00whyme0
Originally posted to r/CreditScore
Previous BoRUs: 1
[New Update]: Found out my parents have had credit cards in my name for years and recently defaulted on all of them. I'm out $20,000 and now they want me to pay for their new car.
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
Thanks to u/queenlegolas & u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: financial exploitation, identity theft
RECAP
Original Post: August 21, 2024
A few days ago, I went through the process of getting pre-approved for a mortgage. Since I've only ever had one car loan that I paid off completely, and one credit card I pay off every month, I figured it would be easy. My application was flat out denied due to my credit score, which they said was 535.
No idea how that was possible so for the first time ever, I checked my own credit report. WOW what were all of these credit cards I've never had before. 6 different credit cards with missed payments all over the place. It looks like in March, every one of them ended up going more than 90 days late and most of them are now charged off. There are also a couple of collection accounts for a couple of the cards. It seems as though everything was going to come to a head shortly even without the mortgage pre-approval.
All of the addresses on the accounts were my parents. I called them about it and they were non-chalant saying that they opened the accounts years ago to help me build credit but they were unable to pay all of the cards. When my dad retired at the start of this year, they decided they couldn't pay any of my credit cards anymore.
They were never "my" credit cards I told them, they agreed with me but said I would just have to negotiate with them to pay off the cards. They then had the nerve to ask if I could start paying their car loan, which they still have 4.5 years on, as it would help "take some of the stress off" from their retirement.
I haven't spoken with them since. I wish I would have known about the accounts sooner but that was my fault. I just don't know where to start dealing with this mess.
Relevant Comments
Commenter: Copying this for every identity theft situation I see on here (since it seems to happen a lot) where you know who the person is who stole your identity. This is all information you can find in this sub and others:
1: CALL THE POLICE - You're the victim of identity theft, plain and simple, it doesn't matter who did it or what your relationship is to them. They broke the law, now they have to face the consequences of their actions.
2: Freeze your credit - You want to make sure it doesn't happen again, take the proactive route of freezing your credit.
3: Monitor and track your credit - You need to be alerted if anyone tries opening a line of credit in your name. This gives you a way to do it for free and it shows your credit score.
4: Warn anyone else who might be a victim - This includes family members or anyone else whose social security number might be compromised by the thief.
5: Take the police report to the credit bureaus - Give them the report number when you dispute all of the accounts. Most of the time, that will be enough for them to take the accounts off of your credit. It's on the creditors themselves to prove the accounts are legitimately yours and the bureaus aren't going to get in the middle of it. A police report goes a long way in clearing up your credit.
Don't take identity theft lying down, even if it's someone close to you. If you let them get away with it, get ready for 5-10 years of bad credit, collection agencies coming after you, lawsuits, etc.
Your parents committed familial identity theft, which is, unfortunately, extremely common in the U.S. Your only real option is to call the police and follow the steps I laid out above. They clearly have no regard for your well being. The fact that they now want you to pay their car payment is just adding insult to injury. "Hey we messed up your life for the next 7-10 years, can you give us some more money, but don't worry we'll actually ask permission this time, also you aren't getting any of it back from us. Pretty please?"
OOP: I don't intend on paying for their car at all. I also don't intend on talking with them ever again.
Commenter 2: You aren't out anything. That is called fraud. You should go to the police and file a police report that you have credit cards on your credit report that you never opened. You can then dispute those accounts with the different credit agencies. You should also lock your credit.
Update: September 24, 2024 (one month later)
Update: My first instinct was to just pay off the cards, which I did not do. I called the police the day after making my post. The report was made and I disputed every account with all of the credit bureaus. 5 of the 6 credit cards came off by the start of last week. One of them came back as verified by the company. Which is literally impossible, so I had to send their fraud department the actual copy of the police report. I'm still waiting on that one to fall off but I'm hopeful it happens soon. My credit score has already jumped up about 120 points, I'm guessing it jumps another 100 points at least once this last one falls off.
My parents were less than happy 2 weeks ago when they were called by an investigator. They hung up on him apparently and I was told the case was being referred to the state but that usually these don't end up getting prosecuted. In a roundabout way, I was told while my parents broke the letter of the law (a felony), the county usually only prosecutes violent crime. Sometimes, not even violent crime if it's not violent enough, plus they live in a different state and the people with the "loss" here are the credit card companies. They said most of the time they wouldn't participate in prosecution and just either write it off or sue the offenders.
My parents screamed at me for about 90 seconds on a voicemail, telling me I was trying to ruin their lives. They ended it by telling me it's time for me to "grow up".
Yeah I think I'm done talking to them. I appreciate all the help I got from the sub!
Comments
Commenter 1: pay for their car? Not just no, but hell no.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this, OP.
Commenter 2: You aren’t ruining their lives. You’re making sure that they continue down the path they set themselves on. Tbh they should thank you.
----NEW UPDATE----
2nd Update: January 9, 2025 (3.5 months later)
Today: The last credit card came off of my account and my credit score has actually improved a few points from where it was when all of this started. I had to dispute it AGAIN but I noticed it fell off earlier this week.
Like I figured, the county prosecutor did not charge them with anything. HOWEVER, looking at public records for where my parents live, it does look like they are being sued by one of the credit card companies. They actually hired a lawyer for it and the second hearing isn't until February.
I haven't talked to them since the incident and I don't plan on it. It boils my blood they both stole my identity AND asked me to make their car payments for them, but they suddenly have the money for a lawyer in a civil case.
Check your credit everyone, you never know who is out to get you.
Top Comments
Commenter 1: Its crazy how common this is.
Commenter 2: You got any siblings who might be being used the same way?
Commenter 3: In addition to freezing your credit, please think about freezing ChexSystems and the National Consumer Telecommunications and Utility Exchange (NCTUE).
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