Astarion’s healing without the fix me trope is beautiful

I was talking to my friend, and she was lamenting about how she does not know any fictional men in romance settings who are non toxic.

So I start gushing about how smitten I am with Astarion. And she goes “I’m so sick of the trope of damaged bad boys who need healing before they become decent people.” And it got me thinking… well actually for a devastatingly handsome brooding vampire, Astarion isn’t that at all. He successfully has an arc about trauma and you can romance him without falling into this trope. Also, he has no pretense of being a decent man at the end and will 100% run into the sunset (well not exactly because he can’t anymore but…) murdering everything with you. Beautiful. Truly.

Obvs I’m talking about the specific path where he doesn’t Ascend and you generally make non evil choices.

When you first meet him in Act 1, he’s so smarmy. Yes he’s extremely charming but it’s so very obvious that his flirtation is not sincere and calculated. Honestly it borders on irritating sometimes. But then there’s also moments where he’s being genuine in his sarcastic humour. Or tiny cracks like when you’re at the Sussur tree and the flowers affect your magic.

Act 2 takes a turn with learning more about what his scars mean and the pivotal scene with Araj. And that’s where I think it really starts highlighting that Astarion isn’t just another ‘bad boy to fix’ trope.

Astarion doesn’t expect you to fix him. He asks for support, sure, but it’s practical things like deciphering his scars and committing a little murder. His focus is on revenge at that point and more importantly, being able to live life in safety. And you can’t blame him because really Cazador is a total dick. But even as a romantic partner, you’re here to support Astarion while he figures it out himself.

And then after you defeat Cazador in Act 3, things shift again. Sure you have to talk him down from ascending, but once you do, the whole arc becomes about him slowly realizing that life isn’t just about vengeance and survival anymore. And the best part? He comes to that realization on his own. You’re there to support him, but you’re not doing the work for him. He starts putting in the effort to figure out what self worth looks like for himself. And ahhhh… that’s why he’s so incredibly precious.

I haven’t played Durge, but my understanding is that he’s very similar then too. Supportive and a bit ride or die, but you aren’t trying to fix each other. You’re just standing by each other’s side in support.

Is there anything sexier than a man who possesses self introspection? Astarion is so beautiful in such a refreshing way. Both from usual romantasy tropes and fuck it… frankly from playing mother and therapist to romantic partners in real life as well.

I think it’s pretty obvious that Astarion was created to be his own complex character first, then as a companion/romance option. And that’s pretty solid writing.