I regret not finding out my baby’s gender while pregnant

I was really committed to not knowing baby’s gender until birth. I didn’t want a gendered nursery or a big focus on gendered gifts. I was so excited for the surprise. And it was a good surprise! We both secretly wanted a daughter and we were thrilled when she was born. I couldn’t think of any downsides to not knowing the gender.

Now that my daughter is 4 months old…I regret that I didn’t get to know her in utero. When I was pregnant, I would refer to her as “the Potato”. I did spend some time talking to her and I would just poke my belly and call her baby. But now that she is here, I feel like, I don’t know, I missed out on getting to know her for nine months? I wish I could have talked to her using her name when she was in my belly and imagined what she would be like. I wish I could compare her now to the girl I was dreaming of. I spent equally as much time thinking about a son and I could have spent those hours feeling her move and knowing she was my little girl. I feel like the time I get with her is so fleeting and I sacrificed nine whole months of knowing her.

I know a lot of this is postpartum hormones and it’s not really a big deal. But this feeling is something I never even slightly considered while I was pregnant, so I just felt like I should share with other mommas who might be deciding whether or not they should find out the baby’s gender.