I love being a mom???

I had my sweet baby about four weeks ago and had to jump back into this sub to update. There were times during my pregnancy where I literally thought wtf did I do by getting pregnant. Losing freedom, adding so much responsibility, thinking I wouldn’t like being a mom. I’m on the younger side and although the pregnancy was planned, I questioned if I was too young bc of others our age waiting.

My mental health (diagnosed ocd, ptsd, mdd) was at its lowest during pregnancy. I was in therapy, but got off meds and was terrified for how horrible the crash would be postpartum.

I’m so happy to say that having my baby was the best decision I’ve made. The day I gave birth was by far the best day of my life and this past month has been nothing short of amazing.

Yes, it has been the hardest four weeks I’ve been through. My baby wakes up probably five times a night, gets fussy most days, and has screamed when I try to take her out of the house, but I’m soaking up every second because time is already going by way too fast.

The chaos has surprisingly been medicinal for my ocd and intrusive thoughts about past trauma. My mind is so occupied I don’t have time to ruminate and these events that shouldn’t be apart of my present reality anyway and it’s so refreshing. I still have anxiety and some intrusive thoughts, but it is 95% better. Although it can still happen, I haven’t had any lasting feelings of depression either thank goodness.

Anywho, for any other women who are terrified to become a mom and may be having thoughts of regret, be open to the possibility of this being the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself because that has been my reality and I wouldn’t have guessed it.