New here - feeling defeated and just searching for community to not feel so alone in this

My mom has developed, what I consider, a pretty solid drinking problem over the years.

I can’t remember the last time I’ve had a meal with her without a drink in her hand even when no one else is. When there are big family get togethers, she’ll throw down and then keep cracking them when the party is over until she falls asleep. I’ve talked to her multiple times about the way she carries herself and treats herself.

About 3 months ago, my dad called me to tell me he caught her bringing drinks in her tumbler cup while heading out for errands. Who knows how many times she’s had a drink behind the wheel before getting caught and how many times it’s happened since.

My dad asked us to help stage an intervention. I live in a different state and offered to fly home; he insisted I just FaceTime in. I spent the whole week writing her a letter, researching inpatient and outpatient programs, therapists, support groups, the works, under the promise that we’d have the conversation that weekend. In a weird way, I was relieved someone other than me was going to stop brushing this all under the rug. The weekend comes and an excuse comes up; we reschedule for the following weekend. The following weekend comes and goes and and momentum to have “the conversation” falls by the wayside because my mom promised my sister to “find a therapist.” 3 months later and said therapist still does not exist.

When I was home for the holidays, I went rogue and had a very blunt, heartfelt conversation about how I was worried about her, how I wanted better for her, and how I would be coming around far less if she couldn’t promise to at least stop drinking around me.

Since then, I’ve heard nothing but whispers in from aunts that things have stayed the same if not gotten worse.

I called my dad this weekend to ask how mom was doing and he just replied “with what?” I told him you know with what. He says “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I tell him if he’s not in the mood to talk about it to just tell me that, but I won’t sit here and be treated like I’m stupid.

I just feel so alone in all of this. Everyone in her life is enabling her by acting like nothings going on; by stopping at the packie for her on the way to a party; by not saying anything when she cracks her 8th drink of the night when no one else has even had one. I’m tired of being the only adult in the room and can’t do it anymore. I’ve said my piece, I’ve offered a helping hand. If she doesn’t want to take it and if the people around us want to chop it off and act like there was no hand to extend, what else is there to do?

I guess I just wanted to vent as I start to hopefully start to find community here and in meetings locally, because I can’t feel this helpless on my own anymore…