Sudden insecuritie of age gap of 9 years

Been in a great relationship for 6 years. I'm a 35m she is 44f. I have struggled the past year with anxiety and depression from cutting out my narcissistic mother.

I have also found myself being insecure about myself and my relationship isone of those.

I have tried to ride the wave and overcome. But I find myself looking at my partners physical faults and if she dresses "old"

She looks 40 and I look 37. So I realise I'm being an idiot and I should embrace it and look at my partner on a whole cause she's great. But I struggling to stop even when I try and distract myself by looking at her good qualities.

Do you think I'm being silly with age difference being relatively small and it's my anxiety clouding my judgement?

She wants to by a house together and I do to But I'm not sure I'd I should go ahead with this because I'm worried it won't go away?

Thanks in advance