I think my husband is disgusted with me.

I have never posted here. I love to read stories. I recently turned 37 he is 43. I have gained weight over the past years. We have 2 teens together who are great kids. He doesn't spend time with them. He has a 24/7 "migraine" . I know it's possible but his are not always migraines. He talk to our older neither who lives on hill daily. He talks to his mom almost daily. The week my brother is in from trucking he spends the first 3 day with him. Did nothing for my birthday. Won't cook anymore. Self employed if at all. I can't stand him going anywhere with my bc he makes my anxiety worse. Our kids are doing a virtual charter public school. Best for everyone. Bur my husband will not touch me. We haven't had sex in 2 months and both times I never orgasmed. Before that it's was once every month to every other month. I beg for sex. Even just to touch me and he won't. I have to ask for a hug or kiss 98% of time. My depression was getting better but now.... I don't know. I'm seeing professional help. But I wanted to post here to see options. I even told him we stay married on paper but he can have a girlfriend. Oh and we have been married 17 years.

I need advice. Am I that horrible?