Am i fucking faketrans why is actually transitioning making me apprehensive

I bought the fucking bitcoin. I already ordered the needles and shit. I literally have the vials in my cart. Literally a click and the vials will be in my possession. Why cant i fucking do it. Im going to do it tonight but i said that last night and the night before. It might be rogd but im noticing masculinization i hadnt fucking fathomed before. So what the fuck is stopping me. I might be too pussy for this shit im legit thinking abt shaving my head and putting this behind me